I care for you

I care for you
in a way that aches
like my stomach when
I'm so full I can't breathe

Thinking of you
makes me laugh and cry
fountains of joy
and rivers of sorrow
both find their sources in you

You see I loved you before
like a brother
a dear close friend
when I thought I lost you
it felt like I had been robbed

So today my feelings mingle
like the milk in coffee
sweet nourishing joy
white and pure
cuts through that acrid
brown sadness

When you look into the mirror
and your reflection meets your gaze
when the bathroom light
refracts and bends around your frame
I wonder what you see
and who you think you are

What if?

What if?
I have a problem with what ifs
they run wild in my brain
splashing their guilty paint
on every wall

What if I had gone out with you
instead of shutting you down?
What if I had brought a flashlight
on our trail instead of balancing myself
with my arms around your frame?

What if I had stood my ground
and refused your eager lips?
What if I had shrugged off
your youthful embrace
and the sparks and shakes
it caused up and down my spine?

You see I really do have a problem
with what ifs
because no matter how much
you tell me it's not my fault
I will wander and wonder
what if.

La luna

La luna
mi luna
hermana blanca
que vigila desde el cielo
todas mis noches
tristes y alegres

¿Qué piensas tú, hermana?
¿entiendes el deseo
de quedar en un abrazo
hasta que llegue el amanecer
de quedar en sus brazos
hasta que canten los pajaritos
de la mañana?

Hermana mía
no vives tan lejos
no eres tan fría
como imaginan los que no te conocen
Tu luz no es blanca
es medio azul
es medio lavanda
llena de magia y electricidad

Mírame con amor hermana
dame tus bendiciones sabias
tu energía vibrante
tu luz poderosa
la que inyectas en los ríos
en el mar

Y sobre todo hazme
dichosa en la búsqueda

Disappear

Disappear

I know that one day you'll disappear
like marshmallows in hot chocolate
or cash in my wallet
You'll be gone from my mind
but not in a flash
like a car zipping by
or the number of breaths in a minute
You are too good, too memorable
You will slowly fade in my mind
First the sound of your voice
then the warmth of your touch
till one day when i can barely recall
the feeling of your presence
the rhythm of your laugh
like sand between my fingers you'll slip away
But right now...
I feel you
I hear you
And not even the hope of forgetting
can ease the burn left by
the warmth of you

Remember?

Remember?
When our friendship was
easy and comfortable

When you and I were honest
without limits

When we laughed
every .2 seconds
because we couldn't help it

Remember?
When you chose yourself
over me

When our word filled hours
became silences

When our happy hugs
became awkward distances

....I do.

Rain boots

I like to where my rain boots
pink like freshly chewed bubble gum
and walk or hop from
puddle to puddle
and from
stream to stream
the ones that
pop up on gray steamy days

I wish that I had
a pair to fit my heart
so I could jump
without fear
into your sweet arms
into your warm heart
without the risk
of drenching my own

But alas these magical boots
I do not have
thus I am afraid to jump
I dare not hop
and I never walk
deep in the streams
that flow in
yours

Las hojas transparentes

The Risk

The Risk

I've heard it said
that in life
all things worth having
are worth
taking a risk for

Really?
Then why is it
that every time
I take a chance
I roll the proverbial dice
I just feel like
a fucking fool

What if
what you have to risk
is too precious to lose?
Is it prideful
to hold on to my dignity
like a gambler to a
promising lottery ticket?

What is more worth
the risk?
Saving face
or experiencing
something like
love?

Dearest Eleanor

Dearest Eleanor,

(From Sense and Sensibility)
Life's a bitch ain't it?
Excuse my fowl language
I know you're a lady
and a proper one at that
so you wouldn't express it
that way
But I feel like you
understand the sentiment

I wish I could be like you
strong, wise, reserved
reliable and good
But I am a Marianne
an utter fool
who follows her desires
and listens to her heart
Much like your dear sister
I love poetry and life
and honesty
I have no time or regard
for propriety

And thus like the Marianne
I am
I end up lookin' a fool
I am tricked
by the open nature of my heart
into believing the best of all
and perceiving my feelings
infallible

But unlike you
dear friend
I am not a work of fiction
I am real and live now
with no benevolent
Jane to guide my steps
and bring me to a righteous love

I guess I just have to
keep going like you did
and hope that my author
will guide me
to a lovely ending

Henna party :)

Got new henna today !

No me entiendes

No me entiendes

Hombre
mirandome
con placer y  deseo
no me entiendes

Para ti mis caderas
son cosas para tocar
son la diferencia entre
tú y yo
inconscientemente
(para ti)
esas caderas me hacen
capaz de contener
tu cría

Para mi
son la razón por la que
no podría llevar
los vaqueros de las jovencitas
y porque todavía
no puedo llevar unos
skinny jeans

Para ti mi pecho
no sé que es
quizás
algo divertido, extraño
interesante, misterioso

inconscientemente

(para ti)
este pecho
significa que
puedo ser fuente
láctea
para tus hijos

Para mi
es algo que no
me permite llevar
un montón de camisas y blusas
 y que me vuelve
sexualized
sin mi permiso

Por eso hombrecito
podemos ser muchas cosas
tú y yo
pero no voy a olvidar
que no me entiendes
(que nunca me entenderás)

Café con García Montero

Café con García Montero

Esta mañana
en un café
vi a un hombre de tu edad
con ordenador y gafas
calificando unos exámenes
o algo así

Imaginé que serías tú
escribiendo algún poema
susurrándote a ti mismo
en un lindo Español granadino

Y con mucho miedo y
trepidación
Yo intentaría hablar
contigo
"Hola... em mucho gusto...
encantada... de... conocerte
.... estoy enamorada de....
tu poesía..."

Tree Circle

We all went to the Globe and I gave everyone sharpie tattoos :)

Arm tat tree

:)

(Not) Your Saint

I am not your saint
so stop trying to put
halos on my head
and flowing sheer robes
on my shoulders

Do not bow your head
and pray
that through me
you will find
peace or salvation

I reject your votive candles
your rosary worn to bits
and the statuettes you have of me
all over your damn house

Look at me!
Smell my hair
See my movement
Feel the warmth of
the blood in my veins

I cannot be your saint
my dearest love
because
I am
human

The skin I'm in

Florence Nightingale

I cannot save you
so why is it
that when you tell me
of your sad tales
your fractured heart
your wounded soul

I long to take out
my needle and thread
to sow you back together
stitch by stitch

To bring out my laundry detergent
and bleach
to wash out all
the stains you see on yourself

Despite my "better" judgement
and my many failures
I still take your hand
I wrap my small arms
around your gaunt frame

And I try desperately
to transfer the warmth
from my body to yours

Women and pasta

Women and pasta

If women were pasta
I would not be easymac
you couldn't heat me up
and consume me
in minutes

I would be spaghetti
in a homemade tomato sauce
with hints of basil and oregano
time consuming
but delicious
and worth your effort

Two gardens

Two gardens

Whenever I see lamb's ear
I think of the magic garden
of my godmother

An eden in Houston Texas
full of flowers bright
smells sweet
and touches soft

My mother cultivated gardens too
but her eden could not be found
in flowers and plants
but in the warmth of her kitchen

In breads and pastas
steaks and potatoes
birthday cakes and cookies
my momma cultivated
our love

And every time she brought it
to the table
we smelled it
possessed it
and consumed it

Every night ended
with six bellies and hearts
full of goodness
and full of love

Trees on arms

Here's a drawing/temporary tat/ poetry combo

Arm art

I drew one of my trees on Chris' arm today :)
I think it would make a sweet tat

Dancing with a partner

Dancing with a partner

I don't want to dance
with a partner
sweet but stiff
Who moves his origami arms
throughout the night
in the same repetitive motion

Every step he takes
towards me
I take two back
until we have traversed
half of the dance floor

He is a lovely boy
I'm sure
But I'm not much for anchors
When I move
I want complete freedom
to sway my hips
and slide my feet
Feeling the beat pulse
through my muscles
As it manifests itself
in movement

So while he may be
a very sweet person
I'm afraid I don't want
any partners
when I choose to dance

El amor

El amor

El amor para ti
es una ola
Bella, grande, viva
Que te golpea
de repente
con fuerza y poder
Esta ola te envuelve
Casi te ahoga
dentro de ella
Pero al fin y al cabo
después de ser consumido
por ella
Esta ola pasa
se desaparece

Yo quiero un amor
como una pared
No que me bloquea
sino que me protege
Quiero construir mi amor
como una casita
ladrillo por ladrillo
Un refugio del mundo
Que me defiende
contra las lluvias frias
y el sol severo
que me mojaría
o quemaría
hasta la muerte

La piel

La piel

La piel
mi piel
blanca
transparente
rosada
llena de pecas

Que ajusta mi cuerpo
envuelve mis músculos
y protege el corazón

Es versátil
es capaz
de ser dura y fuerte
y a la misma vez
tan suave como
crema batida

Sabe como
dar golpes
y caricias
como absorber
y rechazar

Es linda
es lista
es cariñosa
es protectora
mi piel

Walk with me

Walk with me

Walk with me
In streams of cold water
that turn my feet pink

Walk with me
As we look at the colors
that pop and sing to our eyes
Oranges and reds
of the clay
 Greens, grays and browns
of our friends
the trees

Walk with me
As we dance from stone to stone
like ballerinas lost in the woods

Walk with me
And see through my eyes
Hear with my ears
the magic that
(has passed you by) (you've passed by)
would have passed you by

Drawing of Kevincito :)

Hand doodle of the day

La bañera

La bañera

Lugar de soledad
De pensamiento
De preguntas

Me gusta acostarme allí
Boca arriba
Con el pelo sumergido
Moviéndose suavemente
Alga marina

Y tentar
Las respuestas
A todas mis incógnitas
En las grietas
Del techo

This is a pen drawing I did of my friends Kate and Carlos :)
They are wonderful people.

La pregunta

La pregunta

La verdad es que
Sé quien soy
Pintora
Hija
Hermana
Amiga
Mujer
Mariposa
entre palomillas

Pero saber lo que
Yo quiero
Es una cosa completamente
diferente

La vida ahora es un bufete
¿Quieres carne?
Tenemos cincuenta tipos
¿Quieres sopa?
Bueno, tenemos cada color
y sabor que existen

El problema es que
Sólo tengo un estómago
Una vida
Un cuerpo
Un corazón

Por eso la pregunta sigue siendo
¿Qué quiero yo?

"Love"

"Love"

En inglés la palabra "love"
es una palabra muy trabajadora
La usamos para explicar
un montón de conexiones

Con una coca-cola
Con tu mamá
Con un perro
Con un sandwich delicioso
Con un amante

"Love" como dice los Beatles
en inglés es (supuestamente)
todo lo que necesitas
Estoy de acuerdo
cuando pienso
que "love" es amor

Amar
Querer
Gustar

Con estos significados en mente
Puedo decir gracias
a nuestro busy amiguito "love"

Leather jacket

Leather Jacket

I like to put on my leather jacket
and pretend I'm some badass girl
Who doesn't give a damn
and turns you on with her edgy ways

But I am pretending
If you knew me
If I was yours you would know
That when we kiss I'd stroke your hair
And play with your eyelashes
like a butterfly on a flower

I would sing sweet songs to you
in a soft voice that'd make you feel loved
And when we were in each other's arms
I would pull back from you
Just so I could look at the beauty
that lives in your sky blue eyes
And I would make you feel warm
from your head to your toes

But you might never know that
As I walk past you
In my leather jacket

Today I share a watercolor I made this month, I have made about three of this same scene which I would describe as my imaginary moonlit mountain landscape. The painting is made with watercolor and ink on paper, and the starlike spots are made by a salt technique. Basically you put salt crystals on the area of the painting you desire, while the paint is still wet, and as it dries the crystals soak up bits of the pigment. Thus you have starlike shapes :)
Happy Monday everyone! Go make things :)